Preparing for Family Mediation: What to Expect at Family Dispute Resolution

If you have a family dispute resolution session or mediation date approaching, it is normal to feel some uncertainty about what will actually happen in the room, and about whether you are ready for it. Preparing for family mediation properly, rather than simply turning up on the day, is one of the most practical things you can do to protect your position and approach the process with a clear head. This article explains what family dispute resolution involves, what a typical session looks like, and how to prepare, so you can walk in with a plan rather than a hope.

This is general information about how family dispute resolution works in Australia. It is not legal advice, and it does not predict how your own mediation will unfold or what outcome you should expect.

What Is Family Dispute Resolution (Mediation)?

Family dispute resolution, often called mediation or FDR, is a process in which an independent, accredited practitioner helps separating couples work through parenting or property issues and try to reach an agreement. The practitioner does not decide the outcome and does not give legal advice. Their role is to manage the discussion, keep it structured, and help both people communicate about the issues that need to be resolved.

Generally speaking, most mediations are conducted on a shuttle basis. That is, you and your ex-spouse will not be in the same room and the mediator will go between each of you in order to facilitate discussions.

For parenting matters, family dispute resolution in Australia is not merely recommended; it is generally required. Under section 60I of the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth), a person must make a genuine effort to resolve a parenting dispute through family dispute resolution before applying to the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia for parenting orders. Whether an exemption from this requirement applies, for example because of urgency or a concern about family violence or child abuse, is a matter for the Court to consider, and if you think this might apply to you, obtaining legal advice is always best. Where family dispute resolution is attempted, the practitioner instead issues a certificate stating what happened, including whether a party attended, whether the other party refused or failed to attend, or whether a genuine effort was made. If the other party simply will not engage, that is a common and manageable situation, and it is recorded on the certificate rather than treated as a reason you cannot move your matter forward.

If safety is a genuine concern in your matter, mediation may not be the appropriate next step at all, and this article is not the right starting point. Speak with a lawyer about whether an exemption applies before attempting to prepare for a session.

Property and financial matters work a little differently. There is no section 60I certificate for financial disputes, but a Genuine Steps Certificate must be filed alongside an application in both parenting and financial proceedings, setting out what was done to try to resolve the issues first. In practice, this means most people preparing to separate their property will also be expected to attempt mediation or a comparable process before matters proceed to court, in addition to any section 60I certificate required for parenting issues.

Because attending mediation properly, whether it is required or simply the sensible next step, can shape the direction of your matter, preparing for family mediation in advance is worth taking seriously.

Preparing for Family Mediation: A Practical Checklist

Good preparation does not need to be complicated, but it does need to be deliberate and specific. Before your session, it is worth working through the following.

Financial documents and disclosure

If property or finances are on the table, gather your most recent bank and loan statements, superannuation statements, a rough estimate of the value of any real estate or vehicles, and details of any significant debts. Family law imposes a duty of full and frank financial disclosure between separating parties, and this duty continues throughout your matter rather than ending once mediation is over. Arriving with a clear, organised picture of your own financial position, and as much of the shared position as you can reasonably access, puts you in a far stronger position to engage constructively.

Clarifying your priorities and options

Before the session, write down the two or three outcomes that matter most to you, and separately, write down where you genuinely have room to move. For parenting matters, this might mean specific thinking about routines, schooling and how time with each parent will actually work day to day, rather than general principles. For property matters, it might mean forming a realistic view of a fair range rather than a single fixed figure. Having these two lists in hand, rather than in your head, makes it far easier to respond calmly when a proposal is put to you in the room.

Practical logistics

Check how long the session is expected to run, whether it will be in person or online, and whether you are permitted to bring a support person. If you are not sure, ask the mediator or your lawyer beforehand rather than on the day. Sessions can run for several hours, so plan your day around it rather than fitting it in between other commitments.

What Happens During a Mediation Session

Mediation sessions vary depending on the practitioner and the nature of your matter, but most follow a broadly similar shape. The practitioner will usually open the session by explaining the process, the ground rules, and the practitioner's role, including the limits on what they can and cannot do. Both parties, or their representatives, then have an opportunity to outline the issues from their perspective.

From there, the session moves into discussion of the specific issues in dispute. This may happen with both parties in the same room, or through separate sessions where the practitioner moves between rooms, sometimes called shuttle mediation, particularly where there are concerns about direct communication. Proposals are often raised and refined during the session itself, which is part of why arriving prepared matters so much. Decisions can be asked for in real time, and it is far easier to respond to a proposal thoughtfully when you have already considered your position in advance.

At the end of the process, the practitioner will usually provide a certificate confirming whether the matter resolved in full, in part, or not at all, and whether both parties attended and made a genuine effort. If agreement is reached, the next step is usually to formalise it, most commonly through consent orders for property or parenting matters, or through a parenting plan for parenting arrangements that do not need to be made into a court order.

Should You Have a Lawyer Involved in Mediation?

There are generally two ways to bring legal support into your mediation. You can prepare beforehand with a lawyer and then attend the session yourself, or, where the mediation format permits it, have a lawyer attend the session with you. Which approach suits you depends on the complexity of your matter, how confident you feel navigating real-time proposals, and whether the other party has legal representation.

We have written in more detail elsewhere about what a family lawyer actually does at mediation, and whether you need one, including when preparation alone tends to be enough and when having a lawyer attend with you is worth the additional cost. For most people preparing for an upcoming session, the starting point is the same either way: understanding your position clearly before you walk in.

How KD & Co Lawyers Can Support Your Mediation

At KD & Co Lawyers, our Pre-Mediation Strategy Session, sometimes referred to as a mediation preparation session, is a fixed fee of $1,200 and is designed specifically for this stage of a family law matter. In a structured session, we work through your circumstances, help you identify your priorities and likely range of outcomes, and prepare you to respond to proposals with clarity rather than uncertainty. Where attendance at mediation with you is appropriate, this can also be discussed as part of your session. If you are earlier in your matter and have not yet had a chance to properly understand your position, a Strategic Advisory Session may be the more appropriate starting point.

If you have a mediation date approaching, or are preparing for family dispute resolution and want to walk in with a clear strategy, book a Pre-Mediation Strategy Session ($1,200 fixed fee) and approach the process prepared and confident in your position.